


Promise me

by ItsJustMeX



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Break Up, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Love, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25598050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsJustMeX/pseuds/ItsJustMeX
Summary: "Promise me one thing""Alyssa..""Promise me this isn't the end. Promise that you won't do it again"Lucas engulfed me in his toned arms as I trembled, the tears streaming down my face."I promise"
Relationships: Gary Rennell/Main Character (Love Island), Lucas Koh/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

_"Promise me one thing"_

_"Alyssa.."_

_"Promise me this isn't the end. Promise that you won't do it again"_

_Lucas engulfed me in his toned arms as I trembled, the tears streaming down my face._

_"I promise"_

Five months, twenty two days and four hours had passed since Lucas had finally left. Since he had called it a day. I threw myself into my band, drumming away to silence his words that constantly went through my head. 

_"I can't do this anymore, you're never here"_

_He hadn't been wrong, since leaving the villa the band I was in had gained some recognition, our concert's a sell out. Booking's and venues we're filling out well in advance._

_"I'm doing this for us, for our future Lucas, It's not always going to be like this" I had pleaded, tried to reason with him._

_"I'm out" Lucas wheeled his suitcase to the door, "Believe me when I say that band is gonna be the cause of your misery though. You're constantly around a group of men and you expect me to not be bothered, It's a joke"_

_"This again?" I ran my hands through my hair in frustration, "You said you were going to stop making such a big deal about this. Your jealousy is ridiculous, I've told you to come to the studio if you don't trust me"_

_"It's them I don't trust, I know how men think Alyssa" Lucas frowned at me and he pointed a finger to his head,_

_"That says a lot more about your personality than theirs, don't you think?"_

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"Do you really need me to say it out loud again?" I paused, "The reason you're so fucking paranoid about everything is because you're the one that acts on impulse, remind me again, was it you that had the affair or was that me? You can't trust other people because of what you did, Lucas!"_

_"It was one time!" Lucas snapped, taking a step closer to me, "One stupid mistake and you've never let me forget about it, it's always the first thing you bring up when we have an argument"_

_I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to upset Lucas further, Knowing I had pushed him enough right now._

_"You're constantly throwing it in my face, It's your fault things are ending this way"_

_"Don't go.. Lucas!" I followed him and opened the front door, "I'm sorry"_

_He shook his head and exhaled, slamming the door shut behind him._

"Liss?" A voice snapped me out of my memories, "Are you okay? You zoned out a little there"

"Shit, Sorry Sam" I groaned as I grabbed my drumsticks, "I'm ready"

"We can take a quick break if you want?" James suggested, "No good getting burned out"

"I'm fine honestly" I warmed myself up, shaking my shoulder's to release the tension, "I'm good, let's go"

We finished the soundcheck, ready for what would be our last gig for three months. Whilst I knew I mentally needed the break I wasn't sure how I would manage without having anything in place to fill up my days. I had the launch party for the new season of love island to attend tomorrow and whilst I was super excited to catch up with people I was also on edge, seeing Lucas again was always awkward for me, I still loved him unconditionally, he had a hold of my heart like nobody ever had before. Since our break up I had yet to even attempt to date, i just couldn't do it. I felt as if it wouldn't be fair on me or the other person whilst I was still so caught up in him. Part of me still held hope that he would come back to me.

I loosened my blonde hair down from the messy bun on top of my head as my stylist came in, I wasn't really sure why I bothered if I was being honest. Three song's in I would of thrown my hair back up out of my way. The bright light's beaming down on us along with the constant use of my arm's would have me sweating like nobody's business but even so, it was nice to at least arrive on stage looking good. 

After a quick change of clothes I followed the rest of the band on stage, our lead singer rallying up the crowd as we all took our positions. This is what I loved, this was my passion. The screaming audience, the strum of the guitars, the heavy bass. We played a mix of our own stuff as well as cover's from band's we had taken our inspiration from. Foo fighters, The Offspring, Blink 182, Paramore. A bit of everything we loved went into our music. We poured out heart and soul into every single song, It was an escape for me, from my own mind. Music would never let me down, music would never hurt me. I smiled as I lost myself in the moment, nothing could ever beat this feeling.

As always I was left feeling disappointed as it ended far too quickly- a bit like some of the men I've had the joy of being with. I sniggered to myself at the comparison as I was directed to a taxi. 

Sam, James and Adam waved me off. They would be heading for a few drinks to celebrate a successful night but I had booked a hotel ready for the launch party. Most of the islanders would be in the same hotel and meeting in the bar tonight for a quick catch up before the official party tomorrow. 

I retrieved my suitcase from the back of the taxi and wheeled it in, grabbing my room card from the main reception. I could hear the familiar voices over the low music, Chelsea's was the loudest. I peeped my head round the door, It seemed like everyone had made it. 

"Babe!" Priya came over to me straight away and gave me a hug,

"I'm pretty minging at the minute" I hugged her loosely, 

"Ah you look great, man" Gary smiled at me, wrapping me up tightly before placing a kiss on my cheek, "What you drinking? I'll get it"

"Just a pint please, cheer's Gaz. I'm just gonna go get changed" I replied, 

"See you in a bit" Gary held his own pint up to me and headed to the bar.

I spotted Lucas amongst the other islanders, a small smile on his face as he looked over at me. My stomach began doing backflips immediately, I waved my hand gently and turned away, rushing off to get changed. I showered quickly, making sure not to get my hair wet. I changed into a thigh length dress, the black fabric emphasizing my curves. I reapplied my make up and ran a brush through my hair, It would do. I looked decent enough. I sprayed a mist of body spray over me.

I headed back down to the bar, Gary patted a spot between him and Bobby as he handed me my drink.

"Enjoy, love" He winked, before nodding in Chelsea's direction "Think you've got a bit catching up to do"

"Shots!" Chelsea cheered as she ran off to the bar. She would so regret this tomorrow, 

"How've you been anyway?" Bobby asked as he gave me a warm hug, "Haven't seen you around much"

"It's just been gig after gig hun. Three months off now though!" I smiled, 

"That's awesome" Lottie came over to join us, sitting opposite me. "Any plans or anything?"

"Nope, I was thinking I might book somewhere, get out of England for a little while" I took a long drink of the still cold liquid, "Any recommendations?"

"Not really a recommendation but if you're after some company I'm free for a little while" Priya joined in the conversation. I looked over at Lucas, his gaze was fixed on me but he hadn't made any attempt to talk to me. Henrik and Hope chatted to each other from either side of him.

"And me" Gary nudged my shoulder, 

"Well, dammit I'm not about to miss out on this. I'm in too" Bobby wrapped an arm around my shoulder's, "It'll be just like old time's"

"We could book a villa, make it even more nostalgic. I'm gonna see who else it up for it!" Priya jumped up from her seat and made her way to Noah and Marisol.

"Looks like we're all going then" Lottie grinned at me. "Hope you weren't planning a peaceful break!"

"I'm actually really grateful for the company" I answered, 

"Are you gonna be okay? I mean, If Lucas decides to come too?" Gary asked curiously,

"Yeah I'll be fine" I was hoping he would agree to it, that he'd come along too. Maybe we could work something out, it would be the perfect opportunity to spend some time with him. "I'm gonna go get another drink, Same again?" 

I rested my elbows against the bar as I waited my turn. I was hit with the scent of Lucas' expensive aftershave as he leaned over me, placing his empty wine glass down on the bar. His deep brown eyes met with mine as he stood beside me, his back against the bar.

"I didn't think you'd make it with being so busy, how've you been?" His voice was smooth, demanding attention every time he spoke,

"I wouldn't miss it" I smiled at him, "I've been good, busy. How about you?"

"Not bad. I've missed you" Lucas brushed his hand against mine, 

"You have?" I asked, my heart almost beating out of my chest at his words, 

"Of course I have. Haven't you missed me?" Lucas cocked his head to one side, looking me up and down, 

"You know I have" I answered, 

The bartender came over and took my order as another took Lucas', he picked up his expensive wine after paying,

"Is that why you're trying to make me jealous?" He took a sip of his wine, "When you were sat with Gary and Bobby, not even saying hello to me"

"One, I wasn't trying to make you jealous and two, I don't think you have any right getting jealous anyway, you broke up with me" I picked up the two pint's in front of me, ready to walk away. I wasn't about to have a falling out with him straight away, his pushed his arm in front of me to stop me.

"I'm just saying you got my attention that's all" Lucas smiled at me, it reminded me of he he looked when we were first met, before I ended up pushing him away, "Sit with me? Please"

"I'll just take this over to Gary, I'll be two second's" 

"I can't believe your still drinking this stuff" He scrunched up his nose, "I'll come with you anyway"

"Fine" I shrugged, Lucas wrapped an arm around my waist, his touch caught me off guard. 

I handed Gary his drink, his eyes went to Lucas' hand at my waist.

"I'm guessing you'll be joining us then, mate?" Gary asked Lucas,

"What do you mean?" Lucas was confused, apparently nobody had spoken to him yet,

"We're gonna book a villa, couple of weeks in the sun" I tilted my face to look at him, 

"We've already booked it actually, I hope that's okay?" Bobby asked me, 

"Of course! When do we go? Soon I hope" I spoke excitedly, I was ready for this.

"Three days time!" Bobby smiled, "You should see the place we've got, It's lush. Plenty room for everyone. We'll have to share bed's like but i'm guessing it's not gonna be an issue, we've all shared with each other already"

"I'm not sure I'll be able to make it, It's a bit short notice for me" Lucas looked annoyed, he bit on his lip gently, I had learned it was something he often did when he was deliberating something, trying to work out what to do.

"Shame" Gary slapped Lucas roughly across the back, "There's always next time, I'll keep an eye on Lissa"

"It's fine, I'll try and sort something out. I should be able to fly out a couple of days later, send me the details and I'll see what I can do" Lucas removed his hand from my waist and grabbed my hand roughly, pulling me away.

"What are you doing?" I asked, annoyed at him dragging me away.

"Ladies first" Lucas gestured for me to sit down. I slipped into the booth, he took a seat beside me, 

"Answer me" I snapped, "I was in the middle of a conversation"

"And I was finished talking" Lucas frowned at me, "I thought you wanted to talk to me?"

"I do but.. " I sighed, "Talk, just talk"

I wanted to listen to what he had to say, everything else could wait. I had learnt that arguing with Lucas was pointless, especially when things weren't going the way he wanted. 

"I want to keep my promise to you" Lucas tilted so he could see me better, he held both of my hand's in his, "I think we deserve another chance"

It was what I had been wanting to hear since the second he walked out on me and I had high hopes of us being able to do something about it but one thing needed to change, 

"I need you to work on your jealousy if we're going to make things work" I breathed out, 

"I need you to stop creating situations where I feel the need to get jealous" Lucas retaliated and I nodded, I wasn't sure I had ever knowingly caused any situations like that but I could at least be more aware now.

"I'll try.. but I won't leave the band" I looked Lucas in the eyes, It was important he understood this before we even considered trying again, "Ever"

Lucas pulled out his phone and flicked through his calendar. 

"I won't be able to leave the UK for about three, maybe four days after everyone else. Should I book you on the same flight as me?" Lucas tapped on his phone, not looking at me.

"No, I'll leave with everyone else, I need to get away" I took a drink and pushed my hair behind my shoulder, the sooner the better.

"Come and stay with me instead then" Lucas suggested as if it wasn't a big deal, he was so keen. It wasn't expected.

"No" I stuck to my guns, "I'll be there when you arrive"

"Why are you being awkward?"

"I'm not! We haven't been a couple for months now Luke, I make my own decisions" I pulled away from him slightly, I really did want us to get back together but this was too much, He was acting as if we hadn't broken up, as if he hadn't broken my heart.

"Luke.. I haven't heard that in a while" He smirked, his features softening slightly, "Then will you stay with me tonight? For old time's sake?"

"I don't think that's a good idea"

"Please Alyssa" Lucas pleaded with me, "I won't try anything"

"It's a bit out of the blue" I responded, "I don't think we should be rushing"

"Don't think about it then, Just go with what you want" Lucas answered,

"It's all going a bit fast for me right now, I want to fix everything but I don't think sharing a bed tonight is the way to go" I sighed, "Not for me anyway"

"You're so stubborn" Lucas huffed, "I just want to fix things"

"Lucas, I've wanted this since you left me.."

"Since you forced me out, you mean. You gave me no choice" Lucas turned his back to me, looking around at everyone else,

"Fair enough.. If that's how you feel I suppose I can understand. I just want to take things slow, make sure we both feel comfortable"

"Fine. Drink up" Lucas tilted the bottom of my glass as I went to take a drink. He drained off his wine quickly, "I'll walk you to your room"

"I thought we could stay up, hang out with everyone a bit" I looked at him, "I haven't seen everyone in ages"

"We've got tomorrow for that" Lucas shrugged, "Come on"

He took the glass out of my hand and sat it down on the table, waiting impatiently for me to get up from the chair. 

"Everything okay Alyssa?" Lottie quizzed us as she neared our table.

"She's fine" Lucas answered for me as he guided me out of the chair, 

"I wasn't asking you" Lottie scowled at him, her green eyes challenging him before she met mine, "What's your poison babe? My round"

"Alyssa's had a long day" Lucas looked at me, waiting for me to agree.

"I really have, tomorrow though?" I smiled reassuringly at Lottie, "I'll get the shot's in"

"You better, I'll be at your door. You know you miss a Lottie make over" She looked unsure, "I'll channel your rock chick"

"Or something a little more subtle" Lucas added, 

"No offence Lucas, but I don't think Liss does subtle" Lottie looked at me, "Or at least she never used to"

"People change" Lucas shrugged, "She had a more refined taste now"

"Oh does she now" Lottie challenged.

"Come on Alyssa"

I gave Lottie a hug.

"Never lose who you are babe, not for anyone" She whispered in my ear. I nodded as I let Lucas pull me away.

Once we arrived at my room he unlocked the door with my key and held the door open.

"Goodnight beautiful" I sighed contently as he placed a kiss on my forehead, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow"

"Me either" I replied, 

"I'll be waiting" Lucas took a step back, 

"I'll look forward to it"

Lucas made sure I had closed the door before he left, I stripped off and changed into my PJ's after I had brushed my teeth. I wasn't sure what the future held but with Lucas paying interest again, I felt as if i had a new start. A new chance to put things right. I wanted him to love me again, to show me that I was worth something. I needed it, I just needed to make sure he never doubted me anymore. It would be hard, I had no doubt about it but it wasn't often someone was giving a proper second chance. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do but I was more than willing to give it my all. Love wasn't easy but it was certainly worth it.


	2. Chapter two

I stretched out my legs as far as I could. It was one of the few things I had enjoyed about being single. I wouldn't deny I missed the cuddles, the early morning spoon as I tried to wake up. It had seemed like forever since I had shared a bed with someone, More often than not it was the simple things I missed, a quick kiss and a cuppa before the day started. I wasn't one for grand gestures, it had often confused Lucas, I had always been grateful for his fancy breakfasts but I would of been happy with a bacon buttie served on a plastic tray. I felt as if grand gesture's were often wasted on me, he never seemed to understand it, my preference for a good old pint of lager over a ridiculously overpriced glass of wine never made sense to him. 

I took a long shower and took the time to wash my hair this time before settling back on my bed with a cup of tea. 

I was just debating ordering breakfast when I checked my phone, It was a text from Bobby letting me know he, Gary, Lottie and Priya were about to order and inviting me to join them. I text back saying I'd be there and to stick me a full english on-without the mushrooms, yack, i just couldn't cope with a full manky mushroom on my plate. It wasn't to my taste at all.

I threw on a pair of ripped jean's with an oversized t-shirt, slipping my feet into a pair of converse. I headed to Bobby's room where the door had been left ajar for me. I closed it as I walked in.

"Morning hun!" Priya smiled, as I got further into the room I noticed the mess of blankets around the floor,

"Did you guys have a sleepover?" I complained, "Without me!"

"I'm sorry babe, it was a last minute decision" Lottie smiled, "And you took off early with Lucas"

"You went with Lucas last night?" Priya stuck her tongue out at me, "How was it?"

"No, he walked me back. I went to bed alone" I jumped onto Bobby's bed, squeezing on the end beside Gary. Priya jumped into the other side, perching onto the edge bedside Lottie.

"We're taking things slow" I admitted, "What about you four anyway?" 

"Haha well" Gary laughed, "Bobby, care to elaborate? Share a few truths with this lovely lady?"

"He's in love" Priya teased, Bobby's face flushed crimson.

"I'm not! I'm just.. It's.." Bobby paused,

"Let me clear things up a little" Gary smirked, "Our boy's developed a little bit of a crush this past few months"

"What! Really?" I looked at Bobby gobsmacked, "Come on! Spill, I've been waiting for this! I feel like a proud Mam! Who? tell me!" I pushed myself forward to I could look at Bobby,

"Chelsea" Bobby pulled the cover's over his face, "I can't get her out of my mind"

"Babe! That's amazing" I grinned widely at him, "Does Chelsea know?"

Bobby shook his head quickly, 

"You need to say something, I definitely see you two together" I encouraged, "You two would literally make the cutest couple"

"That's what I've been saying" Lottie agreed, "I think with a good old kick up the arse they could be on to something"

"What about you Gary?" I nudged him, "Anyone up your street? Are you hiding someone away?"

Lottie barked a laugh.

"We had a pretty in depth conversation about this last night" Lottie continued laughing, "He's definitely crushing hard"

"Oh come on, share! I miss out on everything" I tried to coax an answer out of him.

"In the most respectful way babe, you haven't been around much the past year" Priya looked at me, she had been careful in how she worded things. "Don't get me wrong you've made it to the important nights, birthdays and what have you"

"I know, I'm sorry" I groaned, "I try! I really do, I just don't know how long these opportunities are gonna be around. I need to sort out my priorities"

"Babe" Lottie soothed, "You don't need to explain yourself to us. Would I be being nosey if I asked exactly what happened between you both? There was no big announcement, no hints"

"Of course you would" Gary narrowed his eyes at Lottie, "What a stupid question"

"He just" I paused, "He didn't like me being in a band surrounded by boys. He had that affair and he just ended it one day"

"Wait.." Gary looked confused, "He had an affair?"

"He broke up with you?" Bobby added, 

"Yep and yep" I sighed, "I know it's my fault, I don't need reminding, I pushed him away"

"Alyssa" Priya groaned, "None of that is your fault"

"Lucas thinks so" I shrugged, "It's okay though. I think we might be able to try again"

"Real talk? He's cheated on you once, he'll do it again" Lottie narrowed her green eyes at me, 

"I was worried about that but then I got thinking, if I spend more time with him maybe he won't feel the need to cheat? Like, It can't be that hard can it. I'll try harder, I won't give him a reason to get jealous and... Anyway, less about me. We've got a trip to plan!" I clapped my hands in finality, eager to change the conversation. Lottie frowned at me and looked at Gary and Bobby with a shrug.

"Yes!" Priya cheered, "Going on holiday means one thing.. Shopping spree!"

Breakfast came and we ate whilst discussing our holiday, we booked our flights and planned our days and nights, Which clubs we planned to go to, day trips. I couldn't wait. Sun, sea, sand a group of amazing people. 

I said my goodbye's and headed back to my room, I still had a good few hours to fill in until I'd need to even start getting ready. I rummaged through my case and pulled out a sheer black jumpsuit. That teamed with a black bodysuit underneath would be my outfit of choice for tonight. I hung them up on the back of the bathroom door. It would be one less thing for me to sort out later. 

My phone began to vibrate against the nightstand catching my attention. Lucas' name flashed up on the screen. 

"Hey" I answered quickly, keen to speak to him. 

"About time" Lucas groaned, "I've been calling you all morning"

"I'm sorry, I left my phone in my room. What's up?" I lay back on the bed and switched on the TV, flicking through the movies,

"Where have you been?" He asked, his tone low.

"I was in Bobby's room" Lucas interrupted before I had a chance to finish speaking,

"Why?" He snapped, 

"We were just catching up, Priya, Gary and Lottie were there too" I breathed, "Why do you sound angry?"

"I'm not angry.. An invite would of been appreciated. I was going to bring you breakfast" He huffed, "Not a very good start at this not making me jealous business"

"I was catching up with my friends, why are you making a big deal out of this?" I kicked my shoes across the room, climbing back into the covers.

"I'm not, I'm just saying. Obviously I find spending time with you important when your priorities lie elsewhere, again" He sounded disappointed, I hated when I made him feel like that. It was as if my every action was destined to hurt or upset him

"That's not my intention. I'm sorry" I replied gently, my heart beating rapidly.

"You're always sorry" Lucas hung up the phone.

Well done Alyssa, once again you had did the one thing you had planned to not do. What was wrong with me? I couldn't work it out. I didn't think something as simple as breakfast with my friends would cause him to sound so disappointed. But now I knew, I knew what I had done wrong and not what to do again. Lucas was my first real boyfriend, the first one I had seen developing into more than a quick fling. I had a lot to learn when it came to relationships. 

I spent the rest of the day lazing around, I had been worried I would be bored but it was surprisingly nice taking a few hours to myself. I had just finished straightening my hair when Lottie knocked on my door, She carted a small suitcase into the room as I opened the door. 

"Just call me your fairy godmother babe!" Lottie smiled brightly, She was already dressed and made up to perfection, her signature heavy eye make up made the green of her eyes pop. She opened up her suitcase and began pulling out bottles and palettes. She set to work straight away, priming my bare face before finding the right foundation shade for me. She worked quickly, dusting deep colours over my eyelids, lining them carefully. She had a serious talent, I could see why she was so popular these days. She finished off my look with a deep red lip.

"Magic, huh?" She turned me to the mirror, obviously pleased with the results.

"Wow!" I agreed, "Thanks babe"

"Hey, anytime. I've been dying to get my hands on your face. I think I've captured your look perfectly, 75 percent rock star, 25 percent princess" She sprayed a fine mist over my face to keep everything in place. Now go get dressed, I'll sort us a drink before we head down" Lottie encouraged. 

I was actually gobsmacked when I looked in the mirror, It had been a good while since I had properly been dressed up. I think the last time would of been the reunion. I slipped my feet into a pair of silver stilettos, completing my look.

"What do you think?" I asked Lottie as I sashayed back out to the bedroom. 

"You look gorgeous!" Lottie handed me a bottle of beer she had opened, "You're gonna knock em dead"

We turned on some music as we enjoyed our drinks, I grabbed a clutch bag and filled it with the necessities, I sprayed myself with what I knew was Lucas' favourite perfume.

"You ready?" Lottie touched up her lipstick in the mirror, 

"Let's go get drunk and chat shit" I cheered, 

"That's the plan babe!" Lottie held my hand as we headed down to the bar together. We should have time for one drink before we headed to the event. Everyone else was already down and waiting. We walked straight over to the bar, where a few of the others had gathered. Lottie ordered our drinks, I looked over my shoulder towards Lucas, he was dressed in an expensive suit, the sort he usual wore, no doubt by his favourite designer. He watched me as he took a sip from his drink. 

"Eyyup Liss!" Gary spoke loudly, "You look hot as"

"Thanks love" I turned my attention to him, "It's all Lottie's work"

"Nah, I mean. I helped obviously, but you're just naturally beautiful. The make up just brings a bit of your personality through" She handed me my drink as we all clinked glasses, 

"Here's to a good night" Priya grinned. We were just making general chit chat, laughing at each others stories. I had missed them all so much, They were my people. Lucas made his way over, standing behind me.

"Can we talk?" He whispered in my ear,

"In a minute" I gave him a smile as I went back to my conversation.

"Alyssa" He spoke sternly, "Please"

I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. What now? What could I have possibly done this time? I followed him to the corner of the room, he leaned with his back against the wall.

"What's up?" I took a long drink, ready for whatever he had to say to me.

"What on earth are you wearing?" He looked me up and down, 

"It's sexy huh?" I grinned, I was pleased with how I looked right now. 

"It's.. It's a bit much isn't it. I mean, we're out in public. Everyone keeps looking at you" He complained, 

"You don't like it then?" It was a knock to my confidence, I thought he would like it. That he would approve. I had literally spent weeks on TV in a bikini which showed off more than this. 

"It makes me uncomfortable. I think you should go change into something a bit more.." 

"There's not enough time" I frowned, "Do I really look that bad?"

"Not necessarily bad, I prefer you in something a bit more classy" 

"Taxi's are here!" Chelsea yelled from the other side of the room. Lucas shrugged his jacket off his shoulders and held it open.

"Wear this" I turned around and he slipped it over my shoulders. I didn't question him, doing whatever I could to make him happy.

I finished off my drink and placed the empty glass on the bar.

"What's with the jacket?" Lottie quizzed, eyeing me and Lucas suspiciously,

"She was cold" Lucas answered nonchalantly, pressing his hand roughly against my back so I would agree.

"Freezing" I lied, not wanting to make eye contact with Lottie, I was an awful liar.

"I was just being a gentleman" Lucas gave her a cocky grin,

"Mhmm I bet you were" Lottie grimaced at him, 

"Gotta look after my girl" Lucas replied, I looked up at him adoringly, as he smiled at me. My girl. Just the words set my heart alight. "Come on then"

Lottie looked at Gary and he shrugged at her, confused. Lucas kept his grip on me tight, holding the taxi door open for me once we got outside. As Lucas went to shut the door Lottie stopped him

"Hold up" She yelled, "Room for more in this one"

She climbed inside and was followed by Gary, forcing Lucas to sit in the front. 

"You better take that jacket off once we get inside babe, that outfit is to good to waste, Don't you agree Lucas?" Lottie questioned him, he grunted in response. She gave my hand a squeeze, "It'll be red hot too"

It was only a ten minute drive so we arrived quickly. As I stepped out of the taxi Lottie pulled the jacket off me and handed it back to Lucas. He breathed deeply and glared at Lottie, not impressed with her interference.

We stopped for a few photos for the paparazzi before heading inside, Lucas holding me close against him protectively. Us being seen together would be good for them, a way to earn money.

Once inside we were shown to our seats, big screen's were on each wall with 'Love Island' on them in the typical bright colours we had getting used to. 

"Hey Lucas?" Lottie spoke, "Can I grab you for a second, I just need a quick hand with the drinks"

He agreed reluctantly, following Lottie as she lead him away. 

"Are you okay?" Gary asked me, "Lucas seem's a bit.. intense? I think that's the right word"

"Yeah I'm good. He just get's a bit overprotective" I smiled at Gary in an attempt to reassure him,

"There's overprotective then there's whatever he's doing" Gary looked over at Lucas, I followed his line of sight, Lottie looked furious as she spoke whilst Lucas just looked amused as he shook his head. "You's aren't back together already are yous?"

"No not yet, hopefully soon though. We just have a few things I need to work on" 

"You need to work on? You're pretty much perfect Liss, I think he's the one with the issues" Gary frowned, 

"He's not that bad" I looked at Gary, "We're good together"

"You've changed you know. Since the villa. You're different now"

"How do you mean? I don't think I've changed that much"

"You act different, You were always the one up for a laugh, ready to play the fool if needs be. Now.. I don't know. You tend to shy away a little, we get the odd glimpse of the old you then as soon as Lucas is on the scene you're gone again"

"I just want to make Lucas happy"

"Promise me.." Gary spoke quietly as Lottie and Lucas began to make there way back over, "Promise me you won't let him change you. I don't trust him"

I nodded quickly just before Lucas took a seat next me, he placed a glass of wine in front of me.

"I don't like wine" I narrowed my eyes at the glass,

"Just try it at least" Lucas suggested, 

"Here Liss" Gary pushed his drink in front of me, "I'll go get another one"

"Are you sure?" I asked, 

"Definitely, I don't blame you for not wanting to drink that shite"

Gary pushed his chair out and left, leaving Lucas looking at me with a disgruntled look on his face. He knew I didn't like wine, at a push I would have a glass of rose but even that was rare, I had to really fancy a glass. 

"You've just made me look like a dick" Lucas whispered, "Why do you have to make a big scene over everything?"

I just shook my head and picked up the drink Gary had given me. No arguments tonight please. Lucas stood up from the table, moving further away to talk to Chelsea and Bobby. 

The room darkened as the familiar love island theme tune played loudly, ready for the show to start. It was crazy to think that a year ago that had been me, heading out to pick my first boy. I had went for Gary, I had been attracted to him straight away. His blonde hair and blue eyes had drawn me in and as for the rest of him.. stunning. It was short lived though, Priya stole him from me then as we started to get close Rocco chose me. It had been completely out of the blue, even so Gary had told me I was his first choice but he was going to try things with Marisol. Then... The tall, dark and handsome Lucas had came in and I was smitten straight away, he was so sweet, a little bit awkward and shy, so different to how he was now. His jealousy had been kinda cute at first but now.. I hadn't noticed just how much he had actually changed. And it was my fault, he made sure I knew it.

After the show everyone hung around, making the most of the free bar as music began to play loudly. 

"Come on babe!" Priya grabbed my hand and twirled me around, "No being glum on my watch, dance with me!"

"And drink this!" Chelsea bounced over from nowhere, offering me a shot. Lucas used to hate it when I took shots, got too drunk. Apparently it wasn't very sophisticated. Did it really matter if I got drunk, made a fool of myself? Danced on the tables? As long as I was safe I always believed it was important to have fun, enjoy myself the way I liked. I stopped anyway, behaving in what was deemed a more appropriate way because of Lucas, he was worth it. But right now.. Now I wasn't with Lucas..

"Pass me another!" I held my hand out, tonight was about having fun, 

"That's my girl!" Lottie added, taking one for herself to. 

"I'm absolutely so excited to get away with you lot!" Chelsea bounced on the spot, her blonde hair bobbing with each movement. "It's been far too long!"

"It has!" I agreed, I looked over at Lucas who was watching me in an unapproving way from his seat, I lifted the shot glass to my lips and drank quick, "Let's drink to it!"

Lucas stood from his seat and headed outside, for tonight I would ignore him, I would be me, I would do what I wanted.


	3. Chapter three

I had just finished checking in at the airport as Lottie called over to me, She was waiting with a group of the others eager to head for a quick drink before we boarded the plane.I hadn't heard from Lucas since the night of the launch party. I had received a text from him as I got back to my hotel room to make sure I had arrived back safely. I text back to say I was fine and in my drunken state I had written a paragraph apologising for my behaviour. I had spent the rest of the night partying with my friends and yes, I may of danced on one or tables. The bruises on my knee's proof that I had fallen over once or twice but I had enjoyed myself.

"You ready?" She lifted her eyebrows and gave me a smirk, "Villa 2019 unofficial reunion!"

"Alright love?" Gary headed towards me, "I guess Lucas couldn't make it?"

"He mentioned being able to fly out a few days late but I haven't heard anything from him" I admitted, 

"Really?" Gary looked optimistic, excited even. "Maybe we'll get you back up on them tables after all"

"I guess we'll have to see what happens" I smiled, "Just don't let me fall, my knees are already a mess"

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we followed the others. I hadn't realised how much I had missed travelling until now, especially going somewhere for no particular reason, I couldn't wait to explore. We had ended up in Majorca again but it would be different for all of us. We had never been here together aside from when we came to the villa.

"I'm glad you're here" Gary grinned at me, "Just think though, if it hadn't been for you having some free time we would never of planned this"

"I can't wait. It's so needed. How's your Nan anyway?" I asked curiously, I had heard a lot about Gary's Nan but I'd never had much of a chance to talk to her. I loved how much he looked up to her, in his eyes she was everything important.

"Mate, She's amazing. She loves taking me down to the bingo hall now, she's so proud of me" Gary's face lit up as he spoke about her, it was so sweet. It was obvious how much he loved her. I wished I had someone who meant as much to me. I hadn't seen my family in a long time, well before my time in the villa. Growing up my life had been less than ideal, I left home as soon as I had turned sixteen and never looked back. I still received card's on my birthday and at christmas but that was it. I never had any intentions on chasing them.

"And she should be, There's not many around like you" I answered truthfully,

"She still doesn't like the fact that I let you slip away so easily mind... " Gary sighed, "She's keen for me to settle down now, she reckons it'll be harder the longer I leave it"

"It'll happen for you babe, one day you'll meet someone and you'll wonder how you ever managed without them. And don't forget the toast, she'll make you toast on a morning" I smirked, 

"And a cuppa?" Gary added, a cheeky smile on his face, 

"Yes! And it'll be a proper cuppa, none of this milk first business" I replied, Gary wrapped his arm tighter around me and placed a kiss on the top of my head, 

"That sounds ideal" Gary laughed, "Well wherever she is, I hope she knows I'm waiting"

"Patience is the key" I paused, "Then before you know it you'll be surrounded by mini Gary's!"

"Perfect" Gary looked off to the distance as we continued following.

Kids. Kids had always been a sensitive subject with Lucas. I had always known from a young age that I wanted children, at least two, maybe three. I'd went as far as making a list in my mind of names. Lucas on the other hand, kids were a strong no, he wouldn't be swayed and we weren't just talking in the near future either. My period's had always been like clockwork, One time I was late and Lucas literally freaked the fuck out, Insisting it was him or the imaginary baby I was carrying. It was then I decided that I'd have to face the future without children, I wouldn't be able to offer my child a better life than me because simply put, I would never have one. Not if I wanted to be with Lucas.

I made conversation as we waited to board the plane, Gary remained fixed to my side, carrying a lot of the conversation, I laughed as Bobby impersonated everyone. That boy was golden and I could only hope he would open up to Chelsea soon. 

Once on the plane I slept most of the way there. It was only a short flight but I had always suffered with travel sickness, Sleep had been the only way to combat the urge to throw up all over the place. I literally pulled my eyes open as the plane was getting ready to land, my head propped against Lottie's shoulder.

"Sleep well?" She grinned, It was obvious her and the other's had made the most of the alcohol during the flight, I nodded as I stretched out my legs, "Only the travel to the villa to go now babe, I'm sure Gary will be a willing shoulder to sleep on"

"Obviously" He turned from his seat in front of us, "Have you seen these bad boys? They're just crying out for some attention"

I laughed before ensuring my seat belt was fastened as the announcement came over the tannoy.

"How far is the villa?" I yawned as I looked at Lottie, "Not too far right?"

"A couple of hours" She cackled as I scrunched up my face, "Just think though, It'll all be worth it when we're all dressed in bikinis, cocktail in hand as we soak up the rays, Am I right Gaz?"

"I've never seen myself as much of a bikini man" Gary teased, "I'm not sure they're my style"

Everyone always went on about how hilarious Bobby was, Don't get me wrong, I agreed. But this man's sense of humour was just as good, he was like a breath of fresh air. 

I tuned myself out as we headed to our villa, concentrating on not vomiting. Gary seemed to understand my silence, not forcing conversation out of me, his questions being simple ones I could nod or shake my head to. I went to grab my case as we left the vehicle but he insisted on taking it for me, wheeling both mine and his along to the entrance of the villa. It was a million times better in person than in the photo's Bobby had shown me. Everything was immaculate. I could only imagine how long it would stay so clean once we all arrived. 

"Where's the nearest supermarket?" Chelsea asked, "I'm starved, I volunteer to go for our first shop"

I glanced over at Bobby and nodded my head at him, hoping he'd click on.

"I'll come with you, babe" He replied to Chelsea, smiling a little at me before turning his attention to her, "Barbeque?

"Babe, I could literally eat my own arm. That sounds amazing" She dumped her case by the bedroom door before making sure she had her handbag. I grinned as Bobby wrapped an arm around her shoulders, It was an innocent gesture but sweet nonetheless. I had huge hopes for those two.

After they had left we turned our attention to the sleeping arrangements. There was myself, Lottie, Priya, Chelsea, Gary, Bobby, and Henrik. The only thing I was certain of was that I needed to make sure Bobby and Chelsea were sharing. 

"We could share right?" Gary asked me, "Wouldn't be the first time"

"Works for me" I shrugged, "What about you Priya?"

"There's a big double bed in there with my name on" She grinned, "I'd like to keep the other side empty just in case"

"Sounds like you're here for a good time" I smiled knowingly, her eyes lit up in anticipation,

"Oh you know it babe, maybe I can find myself a nice spanish bloke" She licked her lips, 

"Lottie?" Gary asked her, 

"You good to share Henrik?" She smiled at him and he nodded eagerly. 

By default that would leave Bobby and chelsea to share, sure there was always the possibility one of them would choose he couch but I hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"I hope they bring back some decent food" I groaned to Gary he carried both our case's to our bedroom, "Not gonna lie, a big cheese burger would be ideal right now!"

I was almost salivating as my stomach growled loudly.

"Want a snack?" Gary asked, "Cos here I am!"

"Gary!" I let out a loud laugh, "I don't think you're edible"

"Eh you won't know unless you try" Gary smirked as he held out his arm to me, "Bite down babe!"

"Jesus christ" I giggled, "You could of at least offered me a bag of crisps"

"We've literally got nout until Chelsea and Bobby get back" Gary began putting his clothes away in the wardrobe, "Come on lazy arse, get your gear put away"

"Can't you do it for me?" I complained as I jumped on the bed, "I don't even mind living out of a case right now, this bed is so bouncy!"

"Yeah?" Gary watched as I jumped around, "Give me a try"

I stood near the headboard, resting against the wall as Gary joined me in testing the bounciness.

"Hey you're right!" Gary admitted, "The helicopter would be out on this thing, I'd be too concerned about banging someone into oblivion"

"Yeah I have that issue all the time" I kept a straight face, "Just never know when I'm gonna react so hard that they collide with the moon or something. It's a serious issue. Can you imagine the conversation after? .. Sorry I bucked you so hard that it took you 5 year to work your way back to earth hun"

Gary laid back on the fresh white sheets, stretching out as far as he could, he grabbed my ankle and pulled my down to the bed.

"Plenty room for the both of us here if you fancy taking a nap" Gary pulled me close to him, he pushed me over as he wrapped himself around me, 

"I slept the whole way here" I laughed, "Don't get me wrong though, you make an amazing big spoon"

"Yeah? I'm a man of many talents Lyss" Gary hugged me quickly before climbing out of our shared bed, He went back to to placing his clothes on the hanger's before stripping off his T-shirt and throwing it to one side. I kept my thoughts to myself as I admired the view, his muscled physique had only gained more definition since I had last seen him in person. It made it difficult to look away.

"I think they're back" Gary cheered as he opened the door and ran out, obviously eager to see what they had brought back, following his lead I changed in to a basic black bikini before running out after him. I was starving, the sooner the food was on the barbecue the better.

Once we had all been fed our attention turned to tonight's activities, First on the agenda was a night out. All of the girls gathered in Priya's room as we got dressed together.

"Oh I've missed this!" Chelsea pranced around in front of the mirror, posing now and then as she shoved her fingers in her hair, trying to encourage more volume, "All of us together like this again"

"It's a shame Marisol couldn't make it" I sighed, "Next time we'll have to plan something in advance"

"Defo babe, I just know Hannah would of been here if she could" Lottie took her time as she applied a coat of a deep red lipstick to her mouth, clearing up any smudges with the edge of her finger. 

"Fancy a spritz?" Priya didn't wait for anyone to answer as she began spraying the air around all of us with a tropical scented spray, 

I looked at myself in the mirror, holding up two outfits I had shortlisted for tonight. One a dark red dress, the plunging neckline made wearing a bra with it impossible. One wrong move and everything could be on show. It had been a favourite of mine but under Lucas' instruction it had lived at the back of my wardrobe. The second was a thigh length white dress, still figure hugging but the higher neckline kept my boob's hidden away. This one was Lucas approved, one of his favourites. It had never been to my taste, the colour for one wasn't for me but I'd worn it anyway, anything to make him happy. 

"Wear the red one" Lottie offered me her advice, 

"Do you think? Isn't it a bit much?" I held the white one up against myself again, 

"It's perfect, trust me. Besides, white in a nightclub... especially with the spiller over there" She cocked her head in Chelsea's direction, "Not a good idea"

"She make's a good point!" Priya added, "Besides, If you've got it flaunt it hun"

I took Lottie's advice and threw the white dress on the bed, Lucas wasn't here. Maybe it would be okay for me to wear the red one, it also meant that I'd have the opportunity to wear the other one if Lucas turned up.

"Let's go girls!" Priya grinned, "I'm on the prowl tonight"

We met the boys in the kitchen, drinks we're lined up on the counter along. Bobby started passing beer's around as Henrik handed everyone a shot.

"Looking amazing girls!" Bobby complimented each of us, "Spicey!"

"That outfit Maddison..." Gary looked me up and down,

"You hate it don't you? Should I go get changed? I said it was too much" The words tumbled out of my mouth unintentionally, I knew this was the wrong choice. 

"What? No!" Gary spoke quickly, "You look amazing!"

I breathed out slowly, Lottie whispered something to Henrik as she looked at me sympathetically, 

"Oh.. Thank you" I spoke softly, "It's one of my favourites"

"Come on then you lot" Chelsea broke the tension, "Knock em back and let's go!"

I plastered a smile on my face as I tipped the shot glass to my mouth, the bitter taste causing me to cringe for a second. The minibus arrived just as we had finished the last of our drinks.

Priya held my hand as she helped me out of the minibus, the sounds of the music could clearly be heard from outside. We caught the attention of a few fans on our way in, stopping for selfies quickly. I had been very lucky to have not been on receiving end of much negativity since leaving the villa, They had been the odd comment about my fashion sense changing, or my make up toning down but I had only been doing what Lucas wanted. He loved me and he wanted me to look my best always, I struggled to see why it was a problem. As his girlfriend I wanted to make him happy, nobody else's opinion mattered. We waved everyone goodbye as we headed inside, Lottie had managed to book us the VIP area so we'd have some space to ourselves with table service included. A bottle of bubbly was sat in ice on our arrival along with a bottle of Vodka and a couple of jugs of mixers. 

"To love island!" Bobby held his glass up as we all clashed them together, "Without it I wouldn't of found you lot!"

"To love island!" We all chimed in together.

We were a few drinks deep when Lottie pulled me for a chat, her face solemn. We sat in the booth together, the floor slightly sticky from when Chelsea spilled her drink earlier. The deep bass of the music could be felt through the table.

"What's wrong?" I asked Lottie suspiciously, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No, not a thing. I wanted to talk to you about Lucas actually" She paused for a second, sipping her vodka through her straw, "Call me nosey but has he.. you know. Has he ever hurt you?"

"No" I scoffed, I was straight on the defense, "He wouldn't hit me if that's what your asking"

Lottie just nodded gently, She chewed on her bottom lip as she debated her next words. My mind went back to a disagreement between me and Lucas not long after leaving the villa. It was girls night. 

_"Can't you just stay in with me?" Lucas had asked, pouting his lower lip,_

_"Not tonight hun" I had kissed Lucas on the cheek before moving to pull on my shoes, "Tomorrow though, I'm all yours"_

_"Please" He begged me, "You don't need to go out anymore, you have everything you need right here"_

_"I'm literally going for a couple of drinks with the girls, I'll be back before you know it" I winked at him, "Wait up for me"_

_"I won't need to wait up if you just stay with me" Lucas took to his feet and approached me, He pushed his hands over my shoulders against the wall, effectively pinning me in place._

_"Can you move.. Please" I whispered, "I'm going to be late"_

_"Just text one of them and tell them you aren't well" He shrugged, "Unless you want me to be upset obviously. It hurts when you choose them over me"_

_"I'm not choosing them... Lucas. Pass me my phone, I'll text Lottie" Lucas smiled widely as he moved his hands from behind, picking my phone off the table. He watched over my shoulder as I typed out the message, making sure I pressed send._

_"Good girl" He crooned, "I'll let you choose the film tonight. I'll order us some food"_

I shook the memory away, drinking the remains of my vodka before pouring another.

"Okay.. So.. I'm concerned about you. Something isn't right, we can all see it" She grabbed my hand in hers as she continued to talk, 

"You're worrying about nothing" I tried to smile in a confident way, "I'm fine. Honestly"

"Are you sure?" Lottied asked, her green eyes not leaving mine, "It's as if he controls you"

"Don't be so silly!" I laughed gently, "I'm happy when I'm with Lucas"

And it was true, for the most part anyway. I was a work in progress but I was willing to try harder to be what he wanted if he would give me the chance.


	4. Chapter four

I rubbed my eyes sleepily as my head began to pound. Oh god Lyss, what have you done? Every slight movement sent an intense beat through my head. I laid as still as possible, Gary snored gently beside me. He better be feeling this too. Everyone better. I didn't want to suffer alone. The clock on the wall to my left showed it was 9.30. I needed water asap, my mouth felt drier than the sahara desert. 

"Gary" I whispered, "Are you awake?"

I gave him a moment to reply but he didn't, instead he continued snoring. This was it, this was how I would die. Death by dehydration caused by the worst hangover known to man.

"Gary!" I spoke louder, kicking him gently, "Wake up"

"What's up?" He rolled towards me, wrapping a heavy arm across my stomach.

"I think I'm dying" I spoke seriously, "Help me"

Gary's eyes shot open as he looked me, I through a hand against my forehead dramatically.

"Are you okay? What's happened?" Gary checked me over quickly, lifting the sheets as he inspected me with his eyes, 

"I'm parched, Fancy making a cuppa?" I gave him an innocent smile, Gary frowned in frustration.

"Are you serious? You woke me up for a cuppa?" Gary relaxed and cuddled up against my side. 

Within minutes Gary's snoring had resumed. I inched myself to the edge of the bed slowly, making sure I made no sudden movements. My head began to spin as I forced myself to my feet. I was still in last night's dress. I padded out of the room and walked to the kitchen. No one else was in sight. I flicked the kettle on and grabbed a couple of cups from the cupboard as I waited for it boil. The bacon in the fridge caught my attention as I went to grab the milk. A bacon buttie would be sure to help me right now.

I made two and shoved them on a tray along with the tea and a box of paracetamol and headed back to the bedroom. I placed the tray on the floor and changed quickly into my pj's. I shuffled back in to bed slowly and placed the tray on my lap.

"What's that smell?" Gary mumbled, the scent of bacon now filling the room.

"I made some breakfast" I smiled at him, 

"Smells lush" Gary sniffed the air, "I'm starving"

"Good job I made you a sandwich too" 

"You did? Oh top girl" Gary pushed himself up and propped his back against the headboard and grabbed the paracetamol, "You thought of everything too, Knew I made the right decision choosing you as a roommate"

"It's your turn tomorrow mind" I bit into my sandwich, 

"Are you good with toast? My skill's don't really go past that"

"Don't tell me you're still getting your nan to cook for you Gary? You're a grown man!" I laughed as I picked up my tea, blowing gently to cool down the hot liquid.

"She insists! Promise you, she won't let me near the kitchen, especially not now we've moved . She'd kill me if I burnt one of her good pans or scratched the oven" Gary bit his lip, "She's just about trusting me with a knife"

Shortly after finishing breakfast the tension in my head began to ease slightly, I was at least able to move around with feeling like my brain was about to explode out of my head. 

"I look like shit" I frowned, narrowing my eyes at my reflection in the mirror. Last night's makeup was smudged beneath my eyes, what was once a smokey eye now had me resembling a somewhat drunk racoon. It wasn't pretty. My long blonde hair in desperate need of attention, I ran my fingers through it, attempting to tame it

Gary had just informed me that he had volunteered us to go grab some shopping, Chelsea and Bobby's shop had consisted mainly of the three B's. Burger's, Bacon and Beer. I grabbed a pack of make up wipes and started rubbing the traces of last night away before changing into an oversized t-shirt, cinching the waist in with a skinny belt. 

The air was close as we left the villa, the midday heat beating down on us as we made our way to the supermarket. 

I grabbed a basket as we set foot inside, the air conditioning cooling me down instantly. Gary grabbed the basket from my hand, insisting he be the one to carry it.

"So what's it gonna be then?" I asked Gary, "I can't see anyone wanting to cook to much in this heat"

"Pasta? Jacket taties? Stir Fry?" Gary began rattling off meals, "The more simple the better, I'd reckon""

I nodded in agreement as Gary started throwing stuff into the basket. I made sure to grab some fruit and veg so we'd have something to go with the beige foods Gary had accumulated. 

We spent a little longer walking around, making the most of the cool air in the freezer aisles. 

"Which one's?" Gary picked up two boxes of ice lollies, he held one in each hand as he waited for me to make a decision.

"I don't mind" I shrugged. Realistically, I wanted the fruity ones he had held in his right hand.. There was always the chance that the other's would want the chocolate one's though. If I chose what I wanted then it might be the wrong decision, it might annoy someone. I wasn't used to making decisions, Lucas had always chosen for me.

"Go on pick one" Gary smiled as she shook the boxes, 

"You choose" I encouraged Gary, 

"Nah it's up to you, choose one" He smiled, 

"I said I don't mind!" I snapped at Gary, shocking myself as well as him. 

"Shit, babe it's only bloody lollies" Gary shoved both boxes into the basket.

"I'm not stupid, I can see that" I sighed, "I'm sorry"

"It's fine, really" Gary came closer to me, his spare hand resting against my back.

"Lucas would normally choose for me, He always knows what everyone else would like"

"You're allowed to have an opinion too though, One- he's not here. Two- You's aren't together, and most importantly three- he doesn't control you, you're your own person and you're allowed to choose what you like"

"Isn't that a bit selfish though?" Gary finished paying for the shopping before we left, 

"How is it selfish?" Gary frowned, "It's a box of bloody ice"

"It's just not all about what I want is it? It's better to think of the person- or in our case people- that your with"

"I swear" Gary laughed humorlessly, "He's really done a number on you, babe"

"I don't get what you mean"

"We'll talk about it later, right now I just want you to have some fun" Gary crouched down in front of me, "First things first, Jump aboard. I'll show you how a ladies supposed to be treated"

Gary guided me up onto his shoulders, his arms supporting my legs. His grip was tight and i felt secure despite the fact he was still carrying the shopping too.

A flash to my side took us off guard, I game a quick smile to the camera as Gary carried me home.

Apparently I wasn't the only one suffering from last night's antics, Chelsea was currently laid by the pool nursing a hangover as Bobby served her cold drinks and snacks whenever her heart desired, It was sweet to see. He had always been willing to help anyone out but watching him right now as he ran a brush through Chelsea's hair was just the cutest thing I had every seen him do. Lottie looked a little worse for wear too, It wasn't often she was seen without her creative make up looks but today she was barefaced yet still looking beautiful. She flopped down the blanket I had laid out clutching a bottle of water.

"I'm so glad we decided against going anywhere today" She shielded her eyes from the sun, "I don't think I could cope"

"I'm good now" I grinned at her as I rolled over onto my stomach, allowing the sun to heat up my back, "I was just thinking I could drink a nice fruity cocktail"

"Urgh babe, not a chance could I stomach alcohol yet" Lottie blew out a breath, 

"Oh come on!" I encouraged, "Don't be a spoilsport, Let's head out for a couple"

"I'll come" Gary suggested, "Breakfast in bed sorted me right out"

"Good idea, you to go for it. If I pull myself round any time soon I'll give you's a ring but right now.. I think I need to retreat in doors and sleep" Lottie pushed herself up and dragged herself back inside.

"Up for it?" Gary asked,

"You know it" I held my hand out for Gary to pull me up, I collided with his chest causing him to laugh as he wrapped his arms around me, 

"Could've just asked if you wanted a closer look" He teased, "Can't keep your hands off me can you"

"In your dreams!" I retaliated, a blush creeping up on my already sun flushed cheeks,

"If it were in my dreams it would be a lot more colourful than you pressed against me" Gary winked before we headed in doors to change.

Was he flirting with me, was that what that was? Surely not. Lucas had already implied that no one bar him would fancy me with the way I went on, that he was the only one that would accept me. Either way, Gary's remark had made me feel something, something I hadn't felt for a long time. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. Attractive, Wanted, maybe. 

I brushed the thought's to the back of my mind as I got changed into my usual summer attire, distressed denim shorts and a plain vest top. Nothing fancy, just something basic. I lined my eyes quickly in black eyeliner and applied my mascara, finishing off with a deep red lipstick.

We found a pub near the beach and picked a table outside to enjoy the afternoon sun. Gary brought our drinks and took a seat next to me, an arm lazily draped around the back of my chair. 

"I could get used to this" Gary tilted his head back, letting the sun hit his face, "Lush weather, cheap booze and a beautiful girl by my side"

"Oh you big softy" I smiled, "It is nice though isn't it, feels like forever since I've been able to relax and just take things at my own pace"

"I bet, It's not a bad thing though, you know what you want and you've proper went for it. It's awesome to have that much ambition" Gary replied as he picked up his drink, turning his body to face me slightly. Gary's opinion was a huge contrast to Lucas', He didn't understand. It was always weird to me that he wouldn't be more encouraging considering how big his own ambitions were. I wasn't the trophy wife he was expecting, I had my own ambitions, I wanted to be successful in my own right. 

"Opportunities like the one's we've all had don't come about everyday, I'd of been an idiot not to take them" 

"Cheer's to that" Gary tapped his glass against mine, "You should always do what makes you happy and the people around you should be happy for you"

He was right, if you weren't harming anyone what damage could be done with chasing your own dreams? Was it such a bad thing to be willing to give your all to something. I only ever wanted Lucas to be happy for me. It was interesting actually taking the time to talk to Gary, he had completely different perspective to Lucas.

"I'm curious" I started, "You and Lottie, Is that completely over now?"

"Im one hundred percent single if that's what your asking" Gary smirked at me, 

"Oh stop" I laughed, "How come you's two get on so well still? I constantly see you both on social media bigging each other up. How does that work?"

"We were never an official couple so we never really had a bad break up to go through, I guess once we left the villa we both just realised we were better off as friends. Like, we still went on dates and that at the start but it just wasn't right for either of us" Gary spoke and I nodded, taking in his words, "We both just get it, neither of us was at fault"

"Do you wish things had worked out different?" I quizzed, suddenly curious to know everything,

"Na not at all, We tried and that was it. You can't force these things, they either work or they don't babe, What about you anyway? Would you change things if you could?"

I debated his question for a little while, Did I wish things had been different? Yes, I wanted Lucas to want me like I had him. Like he had at the start. But did I want to give up my music for him? Hard no. I wanted him accept that part of me, Sometimes it felt as if music was the only part of me I had left, connecting me to who I was before. 

"Sometimes" I answered truthfully, "I just expected everything to be perfect after leaving the villa you know? Love, friendship, opportunities. Funny how things play out sometimes" 

"You can still have all them things babe, It might not be with Lucas but you can have everything if you just let yourself. Ditch the past and move on" Gary encouraged, "You deserve it"

"I do?" I frowned, 

"You do. You work bloody hard, you're stunning. You're a proper top girl, you've just lost your spark a little over the past year. The real Liss is in there somewhere, the one who doesn't take anyone's shit, just let her out again. Nobody is gonna stop you" Gary's face was serious as he tried to get his point across to me. "Don't let them"

"You're right" I nodded quickly. Lucas wasn't here, I could be me. I didn't need to impress him or anyone else for that matter.

"Always am babe" Gary looked pleased as he placed his empty glass on the table, he sat back with his arms crossed against his chest, 

"Fancy a walk?" I asked Gary as I drained the remainder of my cocktail, 

"Lead the way" Gary stood up from the table, holding his arm out for me to link him.

"Such a gentleman" I laughed as I directed us to the beach. Once we reached the sand we pulled off our shoes and walked down to the sea, we began to walk the length of the beach, I slipped my arm out of Gary's and linked my fingers in his. It wasn't often I acted on impulse but Gary's chat had me feeling like I could do anything, I could be the woman I was. We had shared a bed last night but this felt different. It wasn't a big gesture but it meant a lot to me. Gary lifted our hands up and kissed the back of my hand gently, a huge smile on his face. 

"Stop looking at me like that" I laughed, 

"Like what?" Gary chuckled back as we changed direction, moving a little further into the water so it landed just above our ankles,

"Like that! Like.. What are you thinking about exactly?" 

"Do you really wanna know?" Gary asked, 

"Yes! Tell me" I moved from Gary's side to face him, he kept his grip on my hand, he tried to hold my back with the other as he held his shoes still, 

"Kinda thinking about what.."Gary paused, he wiped his tongue across his lower lip,

"Tell me.." I encouraged him, "What is it?"

Gary didn't reply, It wasn't often he was at a loss for words but he seemed torn. 

"Gary?" I coaxed, He sighed as he looked into my eyes, I lost myself in the different shades of blue in his, 

"Kinda thinking about what it would be like to kiss you" He finally got his words out, 

"Oh" Oh. What a reply. I mentally facepalmed myself.

"Don't worry though" Gary laughed it off gently, removing his hand from my back as he tugged my hand gently, pulling me further along the beach, "I won't act on it"

"Why not?" I dug my feet in the sand, Gary was stopped in his tracks at the sudden halt, turning to face me. I shrugged, "Kiss me"

"What?" Gary stuttered, caught off guard by my bluntness. It hadn't been how I had intended on today going but why not. I liked Gary, He seemed to like me. We were both single. What was the harm?

"Kiss me" I pulled on Gary's hand and he put up no restraint, turning straight back towards me. There was a slight hesitation from both of us as our face's neared, I pressed my lip's against Gary's before I had a chance to change my mind, forcing all thought's of Lucas to another part of my brain. He didn't matter right now, I couldn't base my life around what he wanted. 

"Fuck it" Gary whispered against my mouth as he dropped his shoes in the sea, his hand grabbing the back of my head as he knotted his fingers through my blonde hair, I wrapped my hands around his neck pulling myself closer to him. Gary picked me up, my thighs wrapping around his waist as he held me up, his tongue moved with mine as I deepened the kiss, taking the lead with what I wanted,My heart threatened to pound out of my chest. I hadn't kissed anyone since Lucas had broke up with me, There was a need in Gary's kiss that I hadn't had with Lucas, something extra that just made it all the more special. It was intense yet romantic, nothing but the sound of the wave's around us. I pressed my lips against Gary's once more before nuzzling down in the crook of his neck.

"Well that just happened" Gary laughed against the top of my head, 

"It did" I giggled, I felt like a teen again. Sneaking in a secret kiss without anyone else knowing, "Shit!"

"What's wrong? Was it bad? Don't tell me i'm a shit kisser" Gary stuttered, looking horrified, 

"No! It's not that.. Ten out of ten babe" I reassured him, "It's your shoes"

"Fuck" Gary groaned as he set me back into the water, his shoe's could just be seen flowing out further, 

"Unlucky" I stifled a laugh as Gary tried to make a grab for them, he had no chance as they shifted away, 

"Your fault that" Gary huffed, a smile still on his face, "You took me by surprise"

"I won't ask you to kiss me again then" I smiled as I began to walk off, 

"No no! You tell me more often" Gary smirked as he caught up with me, "Actually can't wait for another time to be honest"

"How about now then?" I stuck my tongue out, "Kiss me Gary"

"Mate, today has been amazing" Gary grinned before grabbing me up in his arms again, this time he took the lead.

Gary complained the whole way back to the villa, it was only a short walk but I wouldn't of liked to have done it barefoot. Gary kissed me quickly once more before we pushed open the door to the villa.

"Where's your shoes?" Chelsea asked Gary, a confused look on her face as she took him in. It seemed her hangover was easing as she poured herself a pink gin and lemonade.

"Long story" Gary stormed inside and flopped down on the couch next to Lottie and Priya,

"You've got a little something... " Lottie reached out and wiped at Gary's face, "OH!"

She looked over at me then back to Gary, his cheeks flushed pink.

"I'm just gonna go.. Yeah.." I stammered, turning in the direction of my bedroom.

"I'll be right there" Lottie winked at me and slapped Gary's thigh,

"I'm coming" Priya jumped up and rushed after me. 

"Oh Oh! Me too!" Chelsea grabbed the bottle of gin and came chasing after us.


	5. Chapter five

"Chop Chop guys, get a wiggle on" Chelsea clapped her hands together as she ushered us outside.

"Hold your horses" Lottie complained as she grabbed a picnic basket off the counter, "Plenty to carry if you fancy giving us a hand!"

"I'm helping!" Chelsea showed Lottie the a blanket she had held under her arm, "See"

Lottie shook her head at me as I laughed quietly, Grabbing the second basket.

"I'll get that" Gary smiled as he took it off me, "Howay, love"

Gary wrapped his spare arm around my back as he guided me to out of the villa, I kissed his cheek as a thank you as he opened the minibus door for me. I took a seat and Lottie slid in beside me.

"Adorable" She winked at me, "I've never seen him so infatuated with someone"

"He's a sweetheart" I admitted. Last night I had told the girls about our kiss, Lottie had given me her full support. I wasn't sure if it would lead to anything more right now but I was quite content with where things were right now. Everything was so new to me. I was open minded, ready to take everything one day at a time. Lucas was still in my mind a lot but I was learning to let go, even slightly. It was a huge deal for me.

Lottie left a space between us for Gary to squeeze in. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face each time he looked at me and he seemed in the same mindset. I rested my head against Gary's shoulder, there was very little awkwardness between us, everything just flowed naturally.

It was only a five minute drive to our destination, the same beach me and Gary had walked long yesterday. We had only booked a taxi to save us lugging around picnic hampers.

Chelsea and Bobby laid out the large blanket on the sand before heading out to the sea hand in hand. I had been keen to find out more information about the two last night but Chelsea had said they hadn't kissed yet, she was hoping Bobby would make the move soon but knowing that boy.. We could be in for a bit of a wait. My advice to Chelsea had been to do it herself, Bobby would need reassurance that she liked him too. Priya surveyed the beach, admiring the many men's attention she seemed to attract. She didn't even need to try, she just had this aura about her. Henrik was sat on the sand as Lottie covered him with more, using a childs bucket and spade that had been left behind. 

"Remember the last time we were here?" Gary asked, I was sat between his legs on the checkered picnic blanket, my back pressed against his chest as he ran his hands through my hair, 

"Not sure I do" I teased, looking over my left shoulder as Gary smirked, "What happened?"

"Need a refresher?" He pressed his lips against mine gently, 

"I think it's coming back to me" I giggled, Gary sighed as he held me tight, 

"You made my day yesterday" He blushed, Gary's phone rang from his pocket. "It's my Nan"

He pressed to answer the call and his face popped up in the corner of the screen as a video of a ceiling took over the rest of the space.

"Nan?" He chuckled, "Hold the phone in front of your face"

"I'm getting to it" She sassed back, her image began to appear, "Can you see me now?"

"There she is" He cheered, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah everything's great, just checking in. Wanted to make sure you were behaving" 

"Always Nan" He beamed, "Promise"

"I hope so, Just keep it in your pant's okay? I don't need the newspapers banging on about how many girls my grandson has bedded on this trip" She shook her head and I snorted, unable to keep my laughter to a minimum, "Who was that? Not another of your conquest's I hope! I've told you Gary.."

"No! Nan, It's nothing like that. Honestly" Gary shifted the camera down so I was in view, "It's Alyssa"

"Oh the lovely blonde!" She smiled through the screen, "I'm glad your in good company for a change, Gary"

"Only the best for me nan, you know that" Gary ruffled my hair, 

"Only the best? Gary this might be the one and only time I haven't been able to judge you on your choices" 

"I won't disagree" He laughed,

"So Alyssa, What are your intentions with my grandson?" She spoke seriously, "I don't want him hurt"

"Erm.. I .." I stuttered, not sure what I wanted to say, I didn't have any intentions on hurting Gary but even we didn't know where things were going right now. We were just two friends, enjoying each others company.

"That's enough nan" Gary chuckled loudly, "I'll ring you back later, It's bingo night right? I'll be sure to ring you in between games. Love you"

"Love you too Gary, Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She waved a small hand to the camera, 

"Well that doesn't exclude much does it, Bye nan!"

"Bye!" I added, Gary pressed his lips to the side of my face as he hung up.

"Made her day that did" Gary laughed, 

"Did it?" I looked at him gobsmacked, "It seemed like I was just about to get interrogated!"

"She get's like that sometimes. They key is in not letting her know, sass her back a little, She can take it, appreciates it even. I love her to bit's but she's a bloody pain in the arse, especially when it comes to me and girls" 

"Yeah.. Not sure I'm ready to get on your Nan's bad side just yet.. Anyway, should we go join the others?" I started to push up off the blanket as Gary pulled me back down,

"Wait.. Look!" He pointed out to the sea, "Is he.."

"Oh my god he's going to kiss her!" I cheered happily as I watched the scene in front of me, Bobby held Chelsea by the waist, their faces almost touching, He moved a hand to cup her face.

"Should we be watching? Shouldn't we give them some privacy?" Gary asked quickly, his eyes still transfixed to the two of them, The water lazily crashing around their legs,

"Fuck that" I laughed, "I've been waiting for this"

"Fair" Gary chuckled. A quick glance to my left showed me that Lottie was eagerly waiting too, She was pushed up on her knees taking everything in.

Chelsea pushed up and met Bobby's lips with her own. It seemed the only encouragement he needed was that as they instantly began snogging the face of each other.

"Yay!" Me and Lottie jumped up and cheered in unison, we clapped loudly. 

Bobby shook his head quickly, the smile on his face could be seen a mile off.

"So happy for you two!" Lottie yelled loudly.

"We didn't get a round of applause" Gary grumbled behind me, 

"We didn't have an audience!" I laughed, "Come on, let's go for a dip before we sort the food out"

I removed the dress that I was wearing over my bikini, Gary bit his lip as he looked me over appreciatively.

"Are you coming or not?" I asked again, 

"Just admiring the view" He leaned back on his elbows and continued trvey me, 

"How's this for a view?" I joked as I turned around, pausing for a second and looking at Gary over my shoulder, 

"Tease" Gary chuckled, 

I flashed him a smile as I ran off to the sea,

"I'm coming, wait" Gary jumped up quickly, kicking his shoes off as he ran after me.

We spent a couple of hours messing about and stuffing our faces with the picnic we had made before heading back to the villa, we were all in good spirits, Bobby and Chelsea had barely kept their hands off each other for a second, heading straight for there bedroom as soon as they got inside. 

"Drinks?" Lottie asked, "We are on holiday after all!"

"Oh go on then" I needed no encouragement. I took the beer off Lottie and headed straight outside, the others following behind me.

Gary pulled me onto his lap as we all took a seat around a large circle table. Lottie connected her phone to a speaker she had brought and set some music away. Gary gave my thigh a squeeze and grinned at me, I was careful as to how I positioned myself. I was wearing nothing but the dress I had on at the beach, the swimsuit I was wearing inside one of the bags we had brought back from the beach. One wrong movement and everything would be in full view of everyone.

I pouted my lips at Gary asking for a kiss which he granted quickly.

"Nice to know I've been a miss" 

I almost gave myself whiplash as I turned to the familiar voice, Everyone else looked as gobsmacked as me, none of saying anything.

"I'll just get myself a drink and I'll join you all" Lucas headed back inside.

"Shit" I groaned as I dropped my head into my hands in frustration, "Shit!"

"Hey" Gary whispered, "Don't stress, you've done nothing wrong"

"I doubt he'll agree" I shifted off Gary's lap and into another chair, taking a big drink from the bottle, 

"Babe" Lottie moved closer to me, "Don't let him get to you. Don't let him ruin things"

I nodded slowly. Easier said than done. My heart raced at the thought of how Lucas would react, how long had he been there. Had he seen Gary kiss me? Why didn't he tell me he was coming?

"Alright mate" Henrik greeted Lucas as he sat down. Lucas nodded as he made eye contact with me, I looked down at my lap feeling ashamed. 

"I think I need another drink" Gary spoke up, "You coming Liss?"

I wanted to say yes but I could feel Lucas' eyes burning a hole in my head, I shook my head and turned the almost empty bottle in my hands.

"I'll bring you a drink out then" Gary sighed as he walked away, 

"So where am I sleeping?" Lucas asked, 

"You've got the couch" Lottie shrugged at him, it was obvious she wasn't interested in what he had to say,

"No room with you, Alyssa?" Lucas quizzed me, 

"She's sharing with me so no" Priya replied with a scoff. Lottie looked at her with a small smile on her face, as if she was saying thank you.

"Could always join me on the couch then, Alyssa?"

"I'm good, thank you" I spoke in a small voice, glancing up at Lucas. 

"Are you sure?" 

"She said she's good" Lottie snapped at him, 

"Fair enough" Lucas laughed, sipped out of his glass, "Don't need to be so snappy, I haven't done anything wrong"

Gary handed me another beer as he took his seat, Lucas glared at him before looking back at me. 

"Didn't expect you today mate" Gary struck up a conversation with Lucas, trying to be polite. I appreciated it, I knew Lucas could be hard to get along with some times.

"I could tell" Lucas paused, "I don't get why it's such a surprise though. I did say I'd make it out a few days late"

"You won't be here for long though will you? I'm sure you have to get back sharp for work" Gary didn't let Lucas get to him, 

"I was going to leave in a couple of days but seeing how much fun you's all seem to be having with out me... I might stay a little longer" 

"I'm going to the loo" I jumped up from my seat, placing the empty bottle from my hand down on the table with a clatter, the unopened drink off Gary still in my other hand.

I locked the bathroom door once I was inside, turning on the tap I splashed the cold water across my face. He had been in the villa no more than half an hour and I already felt suffocated, initially I thought this was what I wanted. Spending time with Gary though.. I had began to see things differently. I gave myself five minutes of silence, encouraging myself on the inside to go back out. Eventually I unlocked the door and pushed it open, I had literally taken two steps before I collided with Lucas' chest.

"Clumsy" Lucas smirked at me, "I've been waiting for you"

"Yeah, Well I'm here now" I walked over to the kitchen and began rifling through the drawers before I found a bottle opener, I opened my drink and threw it back in. 

"Aren't you going to give me a hug?" Lucas frowned, "I came all this way to see you"

"You shouldn't have" I stopped to look at him for a second, his face unamused with my response,

"It's been a really shit couple of days for me" Lucas continued talking, "Seeing the photos of you and Gary on social media.. looking quite the couple at the supermarket"

I took a deep breath, there was so much I wanted to say to him but my mouth wouldn't cooperate, nothing would come out.

"And then I walk in on.. that!" Lucas raised his voice, "Why are you trying to hurt me?"

"I'm not!" I retaliated, "We aren't a couple Lucas, that means I can do what I want, right?"

"Feel free.. Just remember that when you're swanning off with someone else I came here because I love you. I wanted to spend time with you"

"We can still spend time together" I replied feeling guilty, he had really just came for me. He said he loved me, despite of everything that had happened.

"Good. I'd like that" Lucas smiled before sighing, "Who knows what could happen? Maybe we can pick up where we left off? You'd like that right?"

"I guess" 

"Now can I get a hug?" Lucas held his arms open as he walked towards me, I let him wrap his arms around me, his grip was a little too tight to be comfortable, "Get dressed, I know a great wine bar a little way out"

Wine. I hated wine.


	6. Chapter Six

I had agreed to go out to eat with Lucas, as usual he had chosen the most upmarket place he could find. Lucas had chosen everything, even the meal I would be eating. It had gone from being a sweet gesture to something that really annoyed me. I was a grown woman, It wasn't his place to make my choices. Just sitting here with him had me reconsidering everything. Was this what I really wanted? Did him saying he loved me give him control over everything? I was began to doubt everything he had convinced me was normal, this didn't feel like I thought it would. 

"Alyssa? Are you listening to me?" Lucas' deep voice forced me out of my trance, I had received a text off Lottie letting me know they had moved my clothes over to Priya's room so Lucas had no other reason to complain. 

"Sorry, What were you saying?" I asked as I stabbed at the food on my plate, Steak- It was much to raw for my liking but Lucas insisted it was the perfect way to eat it. He had spent a good ten minutes inspecting the wine menu before settling on what he deemed the best, Cabernet something or other. All I really knew was that it was red and tasted like vinegar and was anything but appealing. I scrunched up my face as I took a drink to wash down the meat.

"Pass me your phone" It was a command rather than a suggestion, "We're supposed to be spending time together"

I did what was asked and passed him my phone, Lucas placed it in the pocket of his jacket.

"I was curious as to what your plans were when we go back home?" 

"Probably more of the same" I answered honestly, "More music, more gigs"

"Straight away?" Lucas frowned

"Probably" I shrugged, "I have a couple of months off but that doesn't mean too much. I'm sure we'll find something we need to sort out. New tracks. Merch. I don't want us to slip whilst were still doing decent"

Lucas rolled his eyes before sipping at the awful red liquid.

"Are you ever going to move on to something else?" 

"No" I wasn't interested in this conversation, it always went the same way. We'd start off civil then everything would escalate, "A world wide tour would be amazing though"

"You really think yous are good enough for that?" Lucas waved a hand in the air dismissively, once again attempting to lower my hopes. 

"Only one way to find out I guess, I don't plan on giving it up anytime soon" I pushed my plate away from me, "I'm full"

"Really?" Lucas glanced at my plate, it was barely touched. The most I had done was shift the majority of food around the plate, 

"I had a big dinner" It wasn't a lie, we had literally eaten my bodyweight in food at the beach earlier. I could feel my face heat up as I remembered the way Gary had fed me a strawberry, his finger wiping the cream off my face before he licked it off. 

"Are you okay?" Lucas narrowed his dark eyes at me, 

"I just need some air" I fanned at my face, noticing Lucas' almost empty plate. I didn't want to stick around for dessert, "I'll meet you outside?"

"Just give me a second, I'll get the bill"

I watched on as Lucas finished his food before paying the waitress for our meal. Once he took to his feet he held out his arm for me, I linked my arm through his as he led me outside.

"What should we do tonight?" Lucas asked, he continued talking before I had a chance to reply, "I was thinking we head out for a while, I know this place..."

"I wanted to go out with the others, Priya was on about his club.." I started, 

"I'd like to spend some time alone with you. You've had a couple of days to play the field, how are you going to make it up to me if we aren't alone?" My phone began to ring out loudly from Lucas' pocket, He pulled it out and pressed the button to hang up.

"Who was it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice at a steady level.

"Just Gary" Lucas shrugged, "No one important"

"He's important to me" I answered without thinking, cringing on the inside as Lucas frowned at me. "He's a friend. My friends are important to me"

My phone rang out again, Lucas groaned as he pulled it out of his pocket.

"Can't he just take the hint?" He complained as I took the phone out of his hand, pressing the answer button.

"Hey Gary" I smiled, "Everything okay?"

"I'm guessing that hang up job was Lucas? What a dick" Gary grumbled as I tried to keep my face straight, "We were just checking you were still up for tonight? We're about to head out shortly"

"We'll be about ten minutes, hun" I looked up at Lucas, a disgruntled look on his face as he realised he wasn't winning this one. "Could you ask one of the girls to sort me a dress or something out of my wardrobe?"

"I'll deal with it personally, free reign in Lissa's wardrobe huh? Any recommendations?"

"Not at all" I giggled, "Just pick me something nice"

Gary laughed as he hung up the phone, Lucas watched me. My smile was replaced with a poker face. Lucas didn't appear in the mood for jokes. 

"Did you just agree to going out?" He tilted his head down to look at me, 

"I did" I pulled open the door to our taxi before jumping in and letting the driver know where to go,

"Don't you think we should discuss things like this? I might of wanted to stay in with you"

"I want to go out, I'm on holiday. As you know well my schedule doesn't allow much time for fun" I shrugged, trying to keep my voice even. I didn't want to sound weak.

I felt proud of myself as we headed back to the villa, Lucas remained silent the whole time. I hopped out of the taxi and left Lucas to deal with payment. Everyone had gathered in Priya's room- my room now. Bobby, Gary and Henrik had taken on the roles of photographers, snapping pictures left right and center until the girls were happy. Gary handed me a dress he had taken off the hanger with a wink before he resumed his duty.

I thanked him before rushing off to the bathroom and changing. The black dress clung to my curves, settling just below my arse, The deep v neck accentuating my breasts. It was then I remembered I was still knickerless, It hadn't been too much of an issue in my previous dress, it had sat a lot lower than this one. I'd manage though.. It wouldn't be the first time. I barely looked at myself in the mirror before rushing back to the bedroom and grabbing a pair of silver heels. Lottie was armed and waiting with my favourite red lipstick, Priya with her body spray and Chelsea ready to throw out whatever words of encouragement I needed. I had really hit the jackpot with these three. As much of a shitty friend as I had been they were one hundred percent there for me when I needed them. We posed for a few more photo's before the taxi arrived.

"You look hot" Gary breathed against my ear as he climbed in behind me, "I love that dress on you"

"I'm glad you approve" I smiled widely at him, his compliments were beginning to mean a lot to me. I loved hearing them.

"Babe you could rock a bin bag if you wanted too" He winked.

Lucas huffed as he sat down next to Gary, Gary made a point of slinging a arm around me.

Once we arrived Lucas waited stood to the side of the taxi door, his hand held out as I climbed out. He grasped my hand immediately, attempting to pull my close to him. To his disappointment Gary's arm wrapped around my waist. Neither of them seemed to want to give up their position, both stuck to their guns until we got inside the club.

We were ushered to the front of the queue by a member of staff, told that if we advertised them on instagram we could have service to our table all night as well as a few bottles of what we fancied chucked in for good measure.

"Come on Liss, Show us them moves" Bobby encouraged after I had received my drink, pulling me on to the dance floor with Chelsea, Lottie and Priya. 

"Hey" I pulled Bobby by the hand so I could talk to him, "How's it going with Chels?"

"Babe, I don't want to get my hopes up but I think she might like me too" The smile on his face was infectious and somehow he still managed to smell like vanilla and all things sweet even though he hadn't baked since we got here. 

"It's obvious she does" My smile was a broad as his, "I love you, I love her and I love the thought of you two together. I'm so happy things are going your way for once"

"She's lush isn't she?" Bobby swooned as he glanced at Chelsea, 

"She is" I nodded, "And so are you, I can't wait for the beautiful babies. Dibs at best aunty mind" 

"Jesus Liss, Calm down" Bobby laughed, "But.. I couldn't imagine a cooler aunty for my future children"

"With me and you as future influences they have to at least appreciate a bit of rock don't they?" I smirked, "Still waiting on this duet!"

"Yeah, well, Whenever you fancy setting your drum kit to one side and singing with me i'm all for it" 

"I'm all over that, just don't expect the spotlight to be on you" I teased, "I might choose to play the music but I can knock out a note too!"

"I'm counting on it, Paisley Cuddle featuring Alyssa. I can see the flashing neon lights now" Bobby grinned as I rolled my eyes. The truth was the spotlight would be on Bobby, he had a way with the public. The unlucky in love Scottish baker had quite the fan base these days.

"Come on babe!" Chelsea pushed herself up onto a table, her hand held out for me to grab. Without hesitation I held it as Bobby boosted me up. Chelsea held her hand out in a high five in front of me. I giggled as I met it, we instantly swept our hand back again as we went into what was supposed to be out secret handshake before we moved into an impromptu dance off. 

"Alyssa?" Lucas stood at the foot of the table, "I'll help you down"

"I'm good hun" I shrugged as Lottie came waltzing over, handing me and Chelsea a drink.

"I think you should get down now, you're making a bit of a scene" Lucas huffed, gesturing to the people surrounding the table. Nobody seemed to be paying us any attention. I crouched down so I could be closer to Lucas, making sure I kept my knees together. I may of been bordering on tipsy but I was far from drunk.

"I'm fine, I'm enjoying myself. Maybe you should do the same"

"Get down" Lucas snapped, his hand held out for me to hold,

"No" I stood back up and looked down at him, 

"What?" Lucas ran a hand through his perfectly styled hair, a sure sign that he was feeling annoyed by my refusal,

"I said no" I repeated, 

"She's only dancing Lucas" Chelsea intervened, 

"I'm not playing"

"Neither am I" my brow furrowed, Why should I? Why should I obey his rules? Maybe it was the alcohol allowing me to grow a backbone or maybe it was something else... I glanced over at Gary, his eyes met mine before he walked over, his stance showed he was ready to react if he needed to.

"Everything okay?" Gary asked, looking between myself and Lucas,

"I was just trying to help her down" Lucas shrugged, his hand reached out for mine again. 

"And I said I was fine" I snapped,

"She's fine" Gary looked smug as he looked at Lucas, "Doesn't look like she needs help "

"Of course you'd say that.. Alyssa? Come on, I'll get you some water" Lucas suggested, 

"Water?" Gary chuckled, "Are you her keeper or something?"

"Alyssa" Lucas commanded, his tone changing. 

"Just leave her be!" Gary yelled at Lucas, "She's not doing anything wrong"

I sat down on the table and edged off, standing in between Lucas and Gary, ready for a possible kick off. 

"You have no say in anything" Lucas shouted back, "Alyssa, I'll book us a hotel elsewhere. It's obvious you can't behave appropriately around this lot"

"Hey, hold on" Gary interrupted, "She hasn't done anything, she's having fun with her friends"

"Come on" Lucas reached out a hand and grabbed my wrist pulling me along forcefully with him, 

"Lucas.." I breathed, "You're hurting me"

"Na" Gary rushed after us, Lottie must of heard as she followed behind.

Lucas dragged me away, weaving through everyone before we ended up outside.

"Let go of her" Lottie hissed, her manicured hand gripping Lucas' hand as she attempted to pry his fingers open.

"Alyssa's fine. Aren't you?" Lucas left an opening for me to respond. No. No I wasn't fine. At all. Saying yes would only confirm that Lucas was okay to treat me like this and right now I was finally able to see clearly. "She wants to go back with me, don't you?"

"Maybe we could have another drink?" I stuttered,

"We will, at the villa" Lucas shrugged as he attempted to flag down a taxi. Lucas' fingernails dug deeper into my wrist and I cringed, the pain passing a level I could cope with as he pulled on my arm again.

"Gary.." I whimpered, it wasn't intentional, All I knew right now was that I didn't feel safe. I had never felt so uncomfortable in my life.

"Get off her" Gary approached Lucas, "Let her go"

"Oh piss off Gary, what are you gonna do? Call your Nan on me?" Lucas rolled his eyes, if anything his grip getting stronger. Gary was the sort to avoid drama, he wasn't into it. At all.

"Nan would knock you out given half a chance" Gary mocked, "You're hurting the girl man!"

"She's fine" Lucas looked at me, "Aren't you?"

"Actually..." I started, I never got to finish my sentence as Lottie brought her fist back quickly, it caught Lucas off guard as she collided with his jaw. It gave me long enough to move over to Gary, his arms held me differently to Lucas, a protective hold as he held me against his chest.

"Go home Lucas" Lottie spat as she rubbed at her fist, walking over to me and Gary.

"Thank you" I wrapped an arm around Lottie,

"Anytime" She hugged me tight,

"Good. Knowing Lucas this won't be the last I see of him. He told me he love's me"

"You don't believe him do you?" Gary asked,

"I don't know. I don't feel like I know anything anymore. If you asked me a week ago about the possibility of me and you I would of said we were nothing more than friends"

"And now you're not sure?" Lottie smiled, 

"I'm not" I looked at Gary as a smug look crept upon his face, 

"I'll take that" Gary kissed my head and held a hand out to Lottie which she met, "And high five Lottie, never knew you had it in you"

"Nobody messes with my girls" She grinned, "And anyway, waiting on you to act was like waiting for christmas"

Gary sighed as he rolled his eyes.

"Just saying" She shrugged, "Can I just say though, besides Gary's abysmal performance tonight.. I'm all for this"

She pointed her finger between me and Gary,

"I'm trying" Gary laughed, "I want this too"

"And Liss" Lottie held my shoulder's to turn me to face her, "Don't let him ruin this for you. You're better than him"

"I won't" I answered, I felt confident. It was always easy to feel confident when Lucas wasn't here but something was different. Having other people see his actions and support me in my decisions felt good.

I slipped into our booth as Gary poured us both a drink, sitting close beside me. His knee brushing up against mine as he slid a hand against my thigh.

"Thank you, again" I spoke, "For being there"

"Anytime" Gary replied, I held a hand over Gary's, wanting to feel some closeness. I always felt secure when he was near me, like he would be able to save me from anything. Whilst Lottie had turned out to be my savior tonight Gary was still there, we had more of a connection than I had realised.

Acting on impulse I reached around the back of Gary's head and pulled him close to me. Not quite meeting his mouth with my own,

"Gary" I whispered, his blue eyes were fixed to mine, his whole attention on me, "You do like me right? It's not just a holiday thing?"

"I like you" Gary kept his gaze on me, "A lot, always have"

I leaned in closer, pressing my lips to Gary's. We may of only kissed a few times but each kiss had grown more intimate over the past couple of days. Feeling right, feeling natural. It was something I wanted, I wanted to continue feeling the way he made me feel. I didn't feel worthless when I was with Gary, instead I wanted more. 

I grabbed the back of Gary's shirt with my hand as the kiss grew more passionate, pulling him closer to me. I gripped his hand tighter, sliding it further up thigh, his fingertips brushing against my sensitive skin.

"Come with me" I whispered as I moved my mouth from lips towards his ear, standing up quickly.

"Where are we going?" He was confused as I held his hand, tugging to encourage him to get to his feet.

"Just follow me" I laughed as I led him to the bathroom. I was never really sure about much but right now I knew what I wanted. I pushed the door open and peeked inside.

"Many in there?" Gary asked me as realisation crossed his face, he knew why I brought him here.

"Eh a few" I grabbed Gary's hand and pulled him through the door and into a cubicle. Lady luck appeared to be on my side tonight as he wasn't caught.

I wrapped my arms around Gary's neck, pulling him close. His mouth collided with mine eagerly, our tongues mixing together as the kiss intensified, I unfastened the buttons of his shirt quickly before running my fingernails along his muscled chest and torso. Gary moved from my mouth, kissing along my neck and nipping his teeth at the skin along my collar bone, his hands holding me tight to him. I ran my hand's further down, unbuckling his belt and the zip on his jean's. We were both well aware that we didn't have much time. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, inching them down.

"Are you sure?" Gary breathed as he kissed from my collarbone, slipping the sleeve of my dress down before his mouth mouth met my breasts, his hot breath igniting my senses further.

"I want you, Gary" I admitted, "Right now"

Gary pulled a condom out of his back pocket before ripping it open. He lifted me up quickly and pushed me against the cubicle door, A moan escaped from my lips as he entered me slowly.

"Shh" Gary managed to chuckle quietly as he moved his hips back then into me again. I ran my hand's down the back of his shirt, allowing my nails to dig in deeper with each of his thrusts. Gary gripped my thighs firmly, each movement increasing in intensity. Every nerve in my body was on fire, set a light by this man. I bit down on Gary's lip as his thrusts became more urgent, pounding into me again and again in quick succession. I breathed Gary's name as he continued his actions, Gary moved off my mouth and went back to my neck, his teeth teasing the skin before he bit down gently, sucking the skin between his teeth. It was enough for me. Gary held a hand over my mouth, a smug look on his face as he sent me to my ecstasy, his movement's notstopping until he followed shortly behind me, my name on his lips as he finished.

Gary let me down to my feet softly, pressing his lips against mine and then my forehead.

"That was amazing" Gary breathed as he composed himself, catching his breath. Truth was I couldn't take any thanks for it, it was all Gary. 

"You were amazing" I corrected him, pulled my dress back down to my thighs.

"I try" He teased, his blue eyes shining brighter than usual, "No knickers, huh? Never had you down as the type"

"I'm full of surprises" I grinned as I kissed him quickly, letting him sort out his clothes.

"Are you ready?" I asked Gary as I pulled the cubicle door open slightly so I could assess our surroundings,

"Yup" He nodded before peering quickly over my shoulder before hiding behind the door again, "There's a lot more in here now"

"We'll just have to make a run for it" I suggested, the main door pushed open again and Priya spotted me instantly,

"Oh hey you!" She approached the cubicle, "Are you okay? I heard what happened with Lucas"

"Oh, yeah. It's all good, I think" I replied, Gary's hand slid up the back of my dress catching me off guard and causing me to jump, 

"Let me in, babe" Priya asked as she pushed against the door gently, 

"Really, like now?" I stuttered, holding the door in my hand still,

"Why are you acting weird? Are you blushing?" Priya asked as she looked my face over, "Wait.. Have you got someone in there? I can recognise the after sex flush a mile off!"

"Shh" I replied quickly as Gary chuckled behind me, he removed his hand from under my dress and rubbed circles against my back, I pulled the door open a little more so Priya could get in.

"Knew it!" Priya cheered before slapping Gary across the back, "Fancy seeing you here!"

"How do I get him out?" I begged Priya for advice before I began to smooth my hair down,

"Easy" Priya shrugged as she pulled the door open again, she placed a hand against Gary's back and shoved him out the door firmly before closing it after him, there was a shriek from outside before I could hear Gary mumble out apology. "Now tell me everything, I want all the juicy details. Was it good?"

"Babe" I breathed, "Let's just say I can't wait to do it again"

"Yeah?" Priya smiled, "Well at least one of us is getting lucky tonight"

"You could have any boy in here you want" I frowned,

"Maybe, maybe that's part of the problem. I don't want a boy, I want a man, a real man" Priya scrunched up her face, "No one is taking my fancy"

"The night's still young hun, you have all the time in the world" I pulled the door open, "I'll catch you back out there, I better go find Gary"

"Go get him girl" Priya winked, "Grab me a drink if you don't mind?"

"Course babe" I blew her a kiss as I opened the door, leaving as if nothing had happened.

Gary was stood outside the main door waiting for me with a stupid smile on his face, I linked my fingers through his as we headed back to the others. Today had been a mixture of emotions but it was about to end on a high and I couldn't be happier. I was feeling like myself again and it was amazing. I just needed to keep this mindset up and maybe, just maybe things would be okay again.


	7. Chapter Seven

"Morning beautiful" Gary crooned as he brushed the hair from my face, "I could get used to this"

I rolled towards Gary and wrapped an arm around him, Nuzzling my cheek against his bare chest as his strong arms held me tightly.

"Come on lazy" He encouraged before rolling me on top of him, 

"Can't be bothered" I complained, "Can't we just stay in today?"

"I could go for that" Gary kissed the top of my head, 

I could hear the echo of Lucas' voice outside of the bedroom. No doubt he had came to pick up the stuff he had left. My body tensed up.

"It's okay" Gary soothed me, "He'll be gone in a minute"

The voices outside of the room grew louder, there was a thud on the bedroom door before Bobby's scottish twang was heard above the rest.

"Just go, Lucas. She's fine" Bobby spoke sternly, "She doesn't need to see you right now"

"Just let me check" Lucas shouted, I rolled off Gary as a scuffle was heard before the bedroom door flew open. 

"Alyssa" Lucas spoke sharply, "I wanted to see you were okay"

"She's fine" Gary stretched his arms out of the covers, "You can go now"

"Could we talk first?" Lucas approached the bed and kneeled down, he placed a hand on the covers beside me, 

"She doesn't want to talk to you" Gary muttered before he got out of the bed, he walked over to the door and held it open, "Out you go, mate"

"She doesn't need you to talk for her" Lucas wasn't intimidated by Gary in the slightest, he stood up and faced him,

"She doesn't need you at all" Gary snapped, "I'm sure she just wants you to leave"

"She's fine with me being here, aren't you?" Lucas asked, not looking back at me.

I pulled the cover's over my head as the two bickered back and forth, both claiming to know what I wanted. 

"Enough!" I finally responded before forcing myself out of bed, "Both of you! Just shut up!"

Gary and Lucas both turned to face me, the sudden silence a huge relief. 

"I can talk for myself, I don't need either of you's deciding what I want or what's best for me" I yelled, 

"Sorry" They both mumbled in unison, 

"Lucas, wait outside for me. I won't be long" I scowled at him as I took over Gary's position and held the door open. Lucas never answered, instead he left the room. I closed the door after him.

"You're not really going to go talk to him are you?" Gary frowned at me,

"I am actually, Now go back to bed or something. The last thing I need on a morning is you's two fighting on like a pair of pricks" I slipped my feet into my shoes and grabbed a hoodie from the wardrobe.

"I was only trying to help" Gary mumbled as he lifted the covers and climbed back into bed, he resembled a child who had just been told off, "He's only going to fuck with your head again, he'll mess you up again and then we'll be back to square one, never to be seen again"

"Excuse me? Mess me up?" I narrowed my eyes at Gary, "Are you trying to imply that I was a mess?"

"You know what I mean, babe" Gary argued, "You can't say you were exactly keeping things together the past few months"

"I've worked my fucking arse off since leaving the villa Gary, My love life might of been lacking but I've hardly been a mess! I might not of been around too much but I've had a lot I wanted to do" I couldn't believe Gary of all people was pulling me up on things, about my schedule. I had no plans on changing that part of my life. I thought Gary would understand that. 

"Lyss, I didn't mean it like that..." Gary rushed out of the bed, standing beside me, 

"Give over, you sound no better than him right now" I looked Gary up and down, my eyes settling on his, "I thought you were different"

"Just listen to me a second, it came out wrong.." Gary reached out for my hand, his fingertips barely brushing mine before I pulled my hand away. I changed into a pair of jeans from the top of my case before throwing on the hoodie I was holding, picking up the handbag which held my essentials. Purse, passport and other odds and ends. The last thing I grabbed was my phone off the side table, unplugging the charger I put the phone in my back pocket.

"Lyss?" Gary asked again, 

"I'll see you later" I walked out of the door, slamming it closed behind me.

I headed out of the villa, not stopping to talk to Lucas. I wanted to go home. Now. Once I was so far outside I pulled my phone out of my pocket and booked the first flight I could back home. A quick rummage through my bag showed me that I had everything I needed, house keys included. I'd need a new phone charger but I could pick that up easy enough, clothes wouldn't be an issue once I got back to England, there wasn't much demand for bikini's in the uk.

\--

I switched off my phone as it rang continuously, alternating between Gary and Lucas' numbers popping up on the screen. After lounging in the bath for almost an hour I changed into the comfiest PJ's I could find and climbed into my bed before switching the TV on, I'd have a couple of episodes of the new Love Island to catch up on. If I could offer any of the new islanders any advice it would be to tread carefully, who knew how things would change for them when they left? I only hoped they would have a love story that exceeded mine. People aren't always who they claim to me, Don't fall for good looks and charm. Dig deeper, find out everything you can about someone. I watched on as one of the islanders recoupled with some dude named Harry and cringed, he had literally been ranting on about how disappointed he would be if he didn't win. Run now girl, whilst you still can.

Today had taken it out of me, What I was certain would be the start of something new had turned into a disaster. I wasn't sure how I felt right now, part of me was angry, so angry at the way things had played out. I liked Gary. A lot. I thought we were onto something. Yet as pissed off at him as I was I couldn't help but think I had jumped the gun, ran at the first real opportunity I was given. In my head I knew it wasn't necessarily what he had said that was the problem but more the fact I had felt like he was trying to take control of my decisions, speaking for me. I was scared and I didn't want to admit that to anyone. I had blown everything already, just like Lucas had always said I would and Gary was right, I was a mess. 

\--------------------------------------

I woke up feeling anything but refreshed. I made myself a slice of toast as well as a strong cuppa. I was hoping I would wake up feeling better, knowing what I would need to do. Instead I was even more confused. I had been an idiot and acted out for no reason. I switched on my phone, letting the stream of missed calls and text messages beep through. After swiping them off the screen and scrolled through my contacts until I came across Gary's number, I paused for a second before moving down to Lottie's number. I wasn't ready to talk to Gary yet, I was more embarrassed than I was annoyed now that I had time to calm down. 

"Alyssa?" Lottie spoke quickly, "Are you okay? I've been trying to get in touch!"

"Sorry hun, I'm fine. Promise. I just needed some space away from everyone" I replied as I took a drink of my tea, 

"Where are you? I was worried, we all were. Gary's been beside himself!" Lottie sounded relieved where as I was left feeling guilty for making her worry.

"I'm at home" My breath caught in my throat, "I just..."

"Babe.. You don't need to explain yourself to me. I'll come back asap" 

"No! It's fine Lottie, honestly. Enjoy yourself, we'll just catch up when you get back" I didn't want to spoil things for her, I had sabotaged myself enough already.

"Do you even know me?" Lottie laughed, "Girls first, always. Babe, I'll be back by the end of the day. Promise. Get the bombay mix in, get us some new pj's and all that good stuff ready and have The Titanic on pause. We're gonna do this properly. We'll cry it out or whatever it is you need, just know i'm on my way"

"I love you Lottie" I sniffled, 

"Love you too beaut, I'll be there as soon as I can, chin up!"

After we said our goodbyes I got dressed quickly and headed into town. Having something to occupy my mind with made me feel better. I grabbed matching PJ's along with facemasks and enough snacks to feed a family of four for a good few weeks. All I needed to do now was wait.

I continued to ignore my phone as the calls and texts from Gary and Lucas continued. Lottie had messaged me a rough time she would get here so I switched my phone onto silent and shoved it into a drawer.

The doorbell rang twenty minutes after the time Lottie had expected to arrive. I rushed to answer it, eager for some company.

"We've got a cling on" Lottie rolled her eyes as she stepped inside, her suitcase gliding across the floor before she set it to one side, 

"Hope you don't mind, I wanted to make sure you were okay and.." Bobby gave me a cheerful grin and held up a carrier bag, "what better way than cupcakes"

I smiled warmly at the pair of the them as Bobby made himself at home in the kitchen, the contents of his bag now overtaking the counter. 

"Pj's first, Bobs" Lottie pointed a finger at him, 

"On it" He grinned before running over to his case and pulling out his yellow PJ bottoms adorned with cupcakes. So Bobby, They suited him down to a tee.

I joined Lottie upstairs as we changed, our simple black PJ set's stating 'night babe' on the cami top. 

"Perfect" Lottie admired herself in the mirror, "Good colour choice"

"I thought you'd appreciate them" I smiled, "No pink in here"

"Grab your duvet babe" Lottie encouraged, "I'll get the one from the spare room"

I followed her instructions and brought it downstair before laying it on the couch.

"Not like that!" Bobby grabbed the duvet and draped it across the floor, he grabbed the sofa cushions and began to make a fort. He was just finishing off before he began running off the the kitchen "Shit, the cakes!"

I chucked Lottie a bag of bombay mix which she ripped open straight away before laying out other snacks inside the fort. I had just sat down as Bobby came running back with a tray of chocolate cupcakes, He knew they were my favourite.

"I need to document this" Bobby grinned before snapping a photo of me and Lottie inside his fort, "This might be my finest work yet"

Bobby switched off the big light before sitting beside me, pulling the covers over the three of us.

"I can't thank you's enough" I pulled Lottie and Bobby into a hug, "I swear i'm gonna make more time for both of you's"

"Don't worry about it" Lottie smile, "Anytime you need us, we're here"

"In a heartbeat... Unless we're abroad.. In which case it may take a day but..." Bobby rambled on, 

"Shush" Lottie giggled, "Just know you don't need to be alone when your struggling, I don't care if it's something big or small. I'll always be here for you"

"I made a right fool out of myself again didn't I" It wasn't a question, it was a fact. I knew I had.

"Never" Lottie frowned at me, "Babe, you are never in the wrong for needing to take a breather from things"

"Agreed" Bobby chimed in as he passed me a cake, "Gary and Lucas were proper at each other mind"

"They were?" I sat upright and looked at Bobby, "What do you mean?"

"Bobby!" Lottie frowned at Bobby, "I specifically said to not mention them two!"

"Sorry" Bobby pouted, "I just thought.."

"What happened?" I asked Lottie, "Is Gary okay?"

"Gary's fine. Things got a little bit heated after we couldn't get in touch with you and words went flying" Lottie wrapped an arm around my shoulder,

".. And fists" Bobby added,

"And fists!?" I repeated, 

"Bobby!" Lottie yelled, "It was nothing really, no one was hurt"

"Aye.. I bet Gary's got a canny black eye tomorrow, and Lucas' nose.. That had to hurt" Bobby cringed as he rubbed his own nose, 

"Are you kidding me now? They were fighting?" 

"Just a little bit" Lottie glared at Bobby, "Everything is okay now though, honestly. Lucas left eventually"

That's exactly what I was wanting to avoid.

"What happened anyway?" Bobby asked curiously, much to Lotties disapproval, "Between you and Gary? I thought yous were good?

"I don't even know" I answered Bobby with a long sigh, "I guess the only real answer I have is that I'm an idiot"

"You're not an idiot babe" Lottie pulled me against her side and began to stroke down my arm, "Something must of happened for you to run"

"He said..I just.." I rubbed at my eyes aggressively, willing myself not to cry. I didn't want Lottie to think I was overreacting. 

"Fancy sticking the kettle on, Bobs?" Lottie gave him a knowing look, Bobby nodded straight away before rushing off to the kitchen, "Talk to me"

"Gary and Lucas were arguing, I'm used to Lucas dictating what I should do but Gary... He was speaking for me, telling Lucas what I wanted" I rested my head against Lotties shoulder as she held me close, "He said Lucas would mess me up again, that I wasn't holding things together"

"First off.. that guy has as much subtlety as a brick to the face but I can guarantee he wouldn't of wanted to upset you" Lottie held my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her as her green eyes pierced into mine, "And secondly.. You've done amazing handling the cards you've been dealt. Lucas is the idiot in this situation, not you. I don't want to upset you anymore but sometimes tough love is needed. He did mess you up. You haven't been yourself for a long time but i'm seeing a change, I keep seeing glimpses of the old you and it's fucking awesome. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but I know you've got what it takes to deal with this, chuck him to the kerb completely. If you want to take time to yourself I've got you, If you want to make a go of things with Gary.. Same again, I've got you. Every single step of the way"

"Thank you" I whispered, 

"Just promise me one thing" Lottie pleaded with me, "Let Lucas go"


End file.
